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Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Back To Square One?

I saw something on a The Chronicles Of Retards today..

"You shouldnt consider yourself part of any religion,
even though you go to church/mosque/temple every week
BUT entertain alcohol regularly or conduct sexual activity with multiple people.

Do the bottles below look familiar? Are you holding one now?
dont bother with your so called "praying"."
So the very true..
I will not drink from now on..
(Yea right)..
I will try my best to not drink no matter how my friends
pester/force/threaten me to drink..
Oh my father would be so proud..

MOTHER TRUCKER CHINA FEMALE DOG!!
You freaking call me and said you are doing some kinda poll
and ask me to answer some shitty question..
I DON'T HAVE CHINESE NAME!
IS THAT MY FAULT?
Blardee numbskull hang up on me..
For the first time i actually decided to be nice and not hang up
or act like i don't understand and this is what i get..
After answering her dumb questions she asked for my name..
Note : she speaks with a VERY HEAVY China accent..
I said Lee knowing that she will probably won't know
how to spell my name anyways..
Then she asked me how to write..
As if la i know how to tell you how to write through the phone..
Gimme a paper, I CAN and WILL write it out..
It is also not my fault if my parents did NOT
send me to chinese schoold..
It is not my fault that you speak China mandarin
and not Malaysian mandarin or else i would've understood you..
It is also not my fault that you can't understand english to save your sorry ass..


I FREAKING BROKE MY TOE NAIL WTF..
Seriously it broke, not chipped..
Sounds damn bimbotic right?
For ranting about broken nail..
I grow my nails solely on one purpose..
Which is in-grown nail that sucks like crap..
Doctors advice if to let my nail grow long so that it cant 'eat' my flesh wtf..

My boss's friend just asked me if i got my license already LOL..
Such a nice guy, he went and buy stationary for my office wtf..
He's more like the boss of this company compared to my boss..
And he can really rap wrap presents and boxes..

Cheesy Pick Up Lines
- Am i dead angel, cause this must be heaven!
- Your must be Mickey because you're so fine *LMFAO* (refer to the disney song)
- I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away
- Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
- Bond. James Bond
- Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes
- If i followed you home, would you keep me?
- Is your daddy is terrorist? Because you are the bomb
- What's your perfume name? " Catch Of The Day " ?
- Something tells me you are sweet. Can i have a sample?
- Can i take your picture? I want Santa to know what i want for Xmas
- Good evening. May the thorn sit among the roses?
- Help, something's wrong with my eyes. I cant seem to take them off you
- I'm sick, my medicine is to speak to you
- You're like the dictionary. You add meaning to my life
- You are so hot that you make the Devil sweat.
- Pardon me miss. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can i have yours?
- So, you're a girl huh?
- They call me coffee. That's because i grind so fine.
- You're so hot your ass is on fire
- Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
- Hi. Are you legal?
- I love you, ya know.
- Are you gonna kiss me or am i gonna have to lie to my diary?

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